Angry Letters?

Have you ever gotten so angry at a person that you wanted to send an angry letter to express your feelings? Did you feel conflicted about hitting 'send' on the email or as you sealed the envelope? Then this blog post is for you.

Restraint is the key word when you are angry with someone you love, someone who did you wrong, or someone you hope you NEVER see again.

And one very helpful exercise is the 3-part letter.

To write the 3-part letter, the first step is to let yourself go--completely un-edited. Let all the bile spill out of you onto the paper. Use all the profanity you want to. Really let this person have it. This is your chance to get all your anger out of you and down on paper (or into the ether of your computer.) Really enjoy this cleansing process, but don't do anything for 24 hours!

After a full day has gone by, your next step is to reread your angry letter and pull out just the facts. (Usually there are only 3 or 4 facts in the entire letter, so now your missive will be pretty short.) Again, wait 24 hours before moving on to the following step.

Next, take the 3-4 facts you have on paper and rewrite the letter from a place of compassion. (If this seems impossible, you will be surprised at how simple it is when you have waited the indicated amount of time!) Again, sit on it for 24 hours after you have written the gentle letter.

Last, have a friend or support person read the compassionate letter over and if they feel the note is ready to go, hit send or close the mailbox lid.

Best of all? You will feel good and clear in the communication. You may even be amazed at the response you get!

http://www.theemotionallyavailablepartner.com/

Gratitude

Since Thanksgiving is upon us, I'd like to ask you a question. When do you practice gratitude?

Many of us practice gratitude daily, some once in a while, and some only when we get upset and need to pull ourselves out of despair.

But working with gratitude as an on-going practice offers some special gifts. The neurons that fire together wire together as we do this; and the world starts to change. It’s amazing the changes, the unfolding, and the expansion we get in our romantic lives as we make getting grateful a daily habit.

Get a little journal and carry it with you  - use it as a creative, visioning, proactive tool to transform your love life. 

In order for our ideal mate to manifest, you need to be in a receptive place so the divine gifts will come in. So today, get out a sheet of paper and write a list of all the blessings in your life. I bet you will be amazed by how long it is.

Most importantly, know that gratitude moves you toward an emotionally available partner--so today practice gratitude.

And have a very Happy Thanksgiving filled with joy and light.
http://www.theemotionallyavailablepartner.com/

Singing About Emotional Unavailability

Yes, we've all been there, men and women, young and old. The emotionally unavailable partner transcends every boundary and lots of people throughout the ages have sung about it. Here's a sampling of songs about the unavailable partner:
Britney Spears - Toxic   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFbCLPHsMpc
Beck - Lost Cause  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYB4bT_mMj4
Cake - Never There   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5JSwtb4Rnw
Ben Harper - Steal My Kisses  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6G7tgN34Rvc
Looking Glass - Brandi you're a fine girl  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-tRXewCAmU
Chris Isaak - Wicked Game   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Uw4V5yt1-w

Hope you enjoy--send me your own faves. And most important? Remember, there is an emotionally available partner waiting out there for each and every one of you. All you need is to open yourself to recieve!
http://www.theemotionallyavailablepartner.com/

Legalize Yourself!

A lot of people have been asking me lately about the concept of legalization where we allow ourselves to date all types of individuals - and from inside us, choose who we really like to be with.

So what does it look like to legalize all people? Legalization means that whatever type of person we want is OK. Spiritual people, construction workers, charmers, financial planners, unavailable people, egomaniacs, younger people, older people, people from radically different backgrounds, and kind people are all equal. No one is 'better' or 'worse'.

The legalization process seems scary because many of us wish we could just have a rule book to follow; however, the rules are inside of us. Our internal knowing signals who it feels good to be with - all we need to do is listen.

But first we need to give ourselves permission.

When we legalize all potential partners, and decide that anyone we are interested in connecting with is legal for us, then individuals begin to have no charge. They are neither bad nor good. And the exciting part is that we get to ask questions to see how we feel in being with this person. Is the charmer narcissistic and exciting, while the kind person is boring but loving? How does this make us feel? What do we want from this person? Can we get what we want from them?

Though it is scary to let go of the rules and prohibitions that may have bound us in our past dating lives, going through the legalization process makes it unnecessary for us to rebel, lose touch with our own signal, attempt to follow rules that dictate who we “should” be with, and run to those who can’t possibly be available.

All we have to do is stay in touch with ourselves as we mingle so that we get the real answers - not what we've been spoonfed all our lives.

Legalization moves us toward a wonderful, emotionally available person, so today practice and know that all people are legal. Give yourself the gift of exploring what type of person you enjoy interacting with - and then find out who truly gives you what you need.

Enjoy!

http://www.theemotionallyavailablepartner.com/

Is Divorce Inevitable?

It used to be termed the seven-year itch, but now people are labeling it the three-year glitch. It sometimes seems that all romances are doomed to end in divorce. And that can seem like a GREAT reason to avoid intimacy.

But the truth is, love doesn't have to end - when we love with emotional availability.
Face it--living in our world, it is hard to sustain a good relationship. We have so many competing priorities (work, money, family, etc) that it can be easy to diverge from our partner or put other things before love. And, I will admit, the first years of any marriage can scare the daylights out of anyone. Commitment is tough - I make no bones about that.

And, I will affirm that ove and a strong, lasting, joyful partnership are completely possible! When we do the work to identify, seek out, and partner with an emotionally available person, we choose someone who can really show up for us through the tough stuff. ALSO, because we face and overcome our own blocks to intimacy as we heal our own issues with emotional availability, we become someone to be counted on.

Divorce is not inevitable when you are emotionally available. Are you?

http://www.theemotionallyavailablepartner.com/