A few years back one of my clients related her process with a man she had been dating. He was about 8 yrs. younger than her, they had a nice connection, and were attracted to each other.
He represented something really important for my client. In the past, all the men she had dated were very unavailable. He was the antithesis: well-educated, handsome, kind and into her. It seemed like he was available for the type of relationship she wanted.
As my client was gaining more clarity about emotionally available partners, she was also trying to get clarity about what she wanted in her life and struggling to believe it was possible for her. We worked together as she was dating this man to understand what her life's vision was for herself.
During the course of their relationship, it became clear that she really wanted to have children; and she was very scared that this man, because he was so much younger, wouldn't want kids.
I worked with her to help her understand that her desires were important. If he didn't want children, it didn't mean he was globally unavailable--just not available for the relationship that she wanted and needed. And that was fine. If he was not 'the one,' there would be another wonderful partner for her.
On Labor Day, they went to the beach and it was beautiful. They had a great time, and after dinner went back to her place. On her fridge were a few pictures of some friend's children. Looking at the pictures, he casually mentioned that he didn't plan on having kids for 10 years.
My client heard this and brought it to our next session. We talked about what this would mean for her. She didn't have 10 years to wait.
The next time he called to ask her out for a date, he had tickets to a prestigious play. Her words were, "I'll pass."
She is now happily married to someone wonderful, and they have beautiful children.
The universe is abundant and we don't need to fear anything. We deserve all that life and love have to offer.
Happy Labor Day
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