Using Your Relationship to Distract From Other Feelings

I recently talked to a client who is doing so well in being more intimate, expressing his needs and wants, and sharing more profound love in his partnership. This client has also recently been struggling with some personal issues unrelated to the relationship but has been finding more reasons to pick at his partner. (He graciously allowed me to share some of my observations here with you.)

When I noted that many of the snags he felt were getting in the way of the relationship's progression were in actuality from the external stressors in his life and not his partnership - he had an "Ah-ha" moment. It was not his relationship that was causing the overwhelm, but the external issues.

When he saw this with clarity, he was able to stop blaming his partner and focus his attention where it really needed to be - on taking care of himself and allowing himself to trust that the relation'ship' would not sink if he took some energy to attend to external matters.

I also pointed out that many of us instinctually detour to 'everything is wrong with my relationship' when we are upset because it is a great distractor from our feelings - especially feelings we may have about things we cannot control. We may think, "Well, I'll just fix what I can - the relationship." But in actuality, the partnership is just fine, and we need to keep clear boundaries between the partnership and other issues so that we can fuel the fire needed to successfully maintain the healthy relationship with our partner.

Learning to note when our relationship needs help, or when we are burdening it with outside issues that have nothing to do with the relationship, is a process and a skill. It takes work to get that clarity, and we get better at it the more we practice.

We all deserve to honor ourselves and our partners, and we deserve to share and enjoy the love that is our birthright - so enjoy your partner today. Shower them with love, attention and fun. Play and shake off the worries of the world. All will be well - and you are just fine.

For more ideas check out  http://www.amazon.com/Emotionally-Available-Partner-Journey-ebook/dp/B005BZKTSC/ref=dp_kinw_strp_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2