Is Your 'Ex' Trying to Get You Back?

If you know someone you love is classically unavailable and a 'crazymaker,' it can still be very hard to let go of them. When we really love someone, we may not want to face the truth. But if we love ourselves more than our partner and we make the courageous move to release an unavailable individual, sometimes this ex-partner may try extremely hard to get us back.

This is a very vulnerable place to be! Your former partner knows you well and they may pull out all the stops to get you back.

Whenever you have let go of someone unavailable and they try desperately hard to get you back, it becomes very important to stay with your feelings. Ask yourself: Do I feel comfortable with this person? Why did I decide to leave them? Do I want someone in my life who is not good for me? When you answer these questions, you get closer to vital information about you and what will work for you in a partnership moving forward.

The secret to any relationship is knowing what works for you. It doesn't matter whether your ‘ex’ did ‘right' or 'wrong.' The only thing that matters is how you feel about their behavior. Your feelings never lie.

Obviously the way you felt before led you to release this person. But you may be confused now and don't know whether you should give them another chance. When you get confused, remember that your feelings always tell you the truth. And if possible avoid judging, blaming, or criticizing your ‘ex.’ The question is: Do you want to deal with their behavior?

Probably not.

But what if you do decide to give your ‘ex’ another chance and your ‘ex’ does something similar again?

Then forgive yourself.

Another relationship secret is not to take relationships so seriously. People have things to teach us and when we learn the lesson, we let them go and move on. You may be ready to move on from your ‘ex’ now or you may need to do some more 'research' with this person. There is no judgment in your process. Just notice how you feel when you interact together.

Relationships are very loaded for everyone. It’s hard to stay clear. But the great thing about dating is that it offers ample opportunity to practice. If you get back together and find that it is a dead-end relationship, let your partner go as soon as possible. Then get back into the dating scene. You will soon get so good at spotting and heeding unavailable people that when you meet someone who is available, you’ll be ready to give them a chance.

When you let go of someone who can’t meet your needs, you open the door to the possibility of meeting someone wonderful!