I recently heard this story and it shivered my timbers.
A woman got a message on Facebook from an old high school acquaintance who was hoping to reconnect. She decided to get back in touch with him, and they started up a conversation. Soon she and her roomate decided to throw a party and she invited him.
During the evening, they had some energy and she thought he was cute. She felt that her interest was reciprocated.
Towards the end of the night, her old high school friend asked her if graduate school was leaving her any time for a social life.
Wow, she thought, he is really checking things out--a good sign of emotional availability. I guess he has some interest.
Practising truth, she took the risk of telling him that not much was happening for her on that front. Next she asked him where he was with all that.
His response was the real kicker.
He told her he wasn't seeing anyone locally, but there was a woman in Italy that he was in love with. It was very complicated and...
Now this woman is smart, but she still was confused. Why did he open the door to this conversation if he knew he had this old love back in Italy? Was he sending a mixed message?
Yes indeed!
Beware of the mixed message. It is a classic sign of emotional unavailability.
Our heroine, who is very smart and committed to healing her relationship issues, decided to take what he said as the truth. At this time he is not available.
Since then she has turned her attention to other potential partners; others who are available.
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